The Great Switcheroo

Two year olds are interesting little creatures. Since the birth of my beloved twins, Jacob has been the difficult one. He is strong-willed and very demanding. He craves order and structure, but likes to do things in his own time. Change sends him into a tantrum that he cannot control. Jeffrey has always been the easy one. He's always been a happy little boy, even as a baby. He's sweet and easy-going. I love them both for their differences - it's what makes them individuals and not just "the twins."

Once I learned their personalities, I was able to learn how to deal with them. I know that Jacob needs help with transitions. I know that Jeffrey is very adaptable to inexpected schedule changes, but needs reassurance sometimes. I know that if Jeffrey says his brother hit him, then he probably did. On the flip side, Jeffrey probably did something that warranted (in Jacob's eyes) being hit. They respond differently to discipline and that has taken time to figure out. Jeffrey is oblivious to time-out, while a time-out will usually correct Jacob's behavior.

Some time in the last two to three weeks, things have been changing at our house. Maybe I'm in the movie Freaky Friday and I just don't know it. All of a sudden, Jacob is the easy one. The child who has been willful since the day his was born is agreeable and downright sweet. (His hospital nurse, who only saw him for 4 hours before he was taken to CHKD made a point to come and tell me not to worry....that he was mean.) He greets me each morning with "Good Morning Mom. I love you." He listens when I correct his behavior. The temper tanrums, while still present, are less severe and easier to control. He plays quietly alone and is starting to entertain himself. He has learned how to make his brother yell and takes great delight in doing so. He is starting to make better choices at school. In short, he has become a delightful child.

Jeffrey, however, has lost the ability to hear and comprehend verbal directions. He will look right at me, repeat what I said to him, and then go and do the wrong thing anyway. Then he will look at me with the sweetest eyes and say, "I sorry mommy. I not do it anymore." You can't even stay mad at him......until he goes and does it again. He goes through the motions of time out and goes and does it again. He's biting children at school and running away in parking lots. Ifyou tell him not to touch something, you can bet he's going to touch it or die trying. He has become a naughty little monkey.

As frustrated as I get with Jeffrey, I know that it's only a phase. Pretty soon, they will switch again. They may not be able to fool my by switching physical places, like in The Parent Trap, but they certainly keep me on my toes with the ever-changing chameleon personalities. One thing is for certain, neither one is perfect, but they are both a treat to have around. Life is NEVER boring in our circus!